To My Precious Daughter, 
At times, you think I am a mean parent. I say, “No,” more times than you want to hear
but know when I do that my answer is because I love you and want to protect
you. It is my job to care for you until
you leave home. At times, I fail. At times, I make bad decisions but never do I
deny you things that I believe are in your best interest or just to annoy you. Because
I am older and more experienced, I view things from a “I was there once”
perspective and am very aware of the possible dangers to a young girl. It is my job to protect and safeguard your
naivety and let you remain an innocent child as long as possible. Childhood is short; adulthood lasts years and years.
I set age limits to allow you time to mature and obtain a view
of the world from a more advanced perspective.
Teens years are filled with numerous changes and, as you age, you will
be allowed to participate in additional activities and have more freedom. I want
you to have things to look forward to, not wake up one day with nothing left
because you have been doing them for years.
I do not like the idea of the
only thing left for you to do is sex or drugs because you have already done everything
when you are 10 or 11. Therefore, I have
some set ages at which you may begin dressing in certain ways and going certain places.
When you are 13 you may wear pastel lipstick. Until then, if
you wear bright red or hot pink colors while playing ‘grownup’ you are not to leave
the house until you remove it. You do not
wear it to the school, the grocery store or church. At 13, you can also buy that new pair shoes
with short heels as you want.
You may not wear short shorts expect at home. If you go out
in knee-length ones and roll them up to be shorter like some of your friends do
, all shorts will be discarded. If you
need to run to the store and have on short shorts, slip a skirt over them or
change. And no, you may not wear
mini-skirts, or halters, plunging necklines, or bare shoulders in
public. You may have your first strapless
dress when you are a high school junior and wear your first formal. Even then it cannot be too revealing. Modesty is a family value we honor.
You can date when you turn 15 with these exceptions. I wanted to make it 21, but your mother
overruled me. At 14, you may double date to school
functions, but know I will volunteer to chaperone these. Also, you may go to parties at friends homes,
when I know the parents and are assured they will be home. At 15, you can date on weekends provided you
honor curfew time. Where you are going
and with whom will determine your curfew hour.
At 14, we will give you a cell phone. In addition, I will give you four quarters to
keep in your billfold at all times, so if anything unexpectedly happens and
your phone is dead or you can’t find it, you can call and we will come get you
immediately. No matter your problem, if
you find yourself in any situation where you feel uncomfortable, then phoning
us is the right choice.
You will have a curfew until midway into your high school senior
year and then you can set the time you come home. If you haven’t learned the value of coming
home at a reasonable hour by then, I have failed you miserably. We
will, however, require that you come into our bedroom and wake us, so we know
you are home safely. We will not
question the time. We just need assurance
you are home safely.
Also know that should you stay out all night without our
approval, you need not bother coming home.
The door will be bolted because as long as you sleep under the roof we
pay for, eat the food we provide and wear clothes we purchase, we expect our
home values to be lived. We expect you
home nightly, unless we discuss it in advance.
It is my role as a Christian parent to safeguard your body
and help you guard how much others see until you marry. Your wedding night should be special, not something you shared with the world. I know
that many girls your age, even some at church, dress sexy and show as much leg
and breast as possible, but I am not accountable to God for other girls, only
you. My time frames are to help protect
you emotionally and spiritually. Someday
you will understand this.
If you say, “But all the girls dress that way or go to
parties”, I pray for their father’s to wake up and stop pushing their children
to dress in ways that follow the crowd and stop allowing them to go places that
a young girl has no business going. I do not want you dating boys who value girls dressing sexy or going places where they should not be. If
these girls were my daughters, I would love them too much to let them . I hope you understand that.
It is my job to protect your innocence and your body until
you marry. Then I hand that job to your
husband. Also do not expect me to like
the boys you date. I can’t because I
know one of them is going to take you away from me, and I dread that day.
I am working hard to be the Christian father God wants me to
be, and I love you very much. Dad
