A huge  thanks to all of you who purchased my books. All of my doctor offices purchased some. Longhills Dental bought one for every woman working there and then sent me a thank you note. Wow.

What’s surprising is how many men tell me they are reading it, liking it, and recommending it to others. Thanks fellows!

If you purchased one from Amazon, Books a Million, Apple, or Barnes and Noble, please, please go back into their website and leave a review.  Reviews definitely count a lot. However, if you purchased one directly from me, none of the places will let you leave a review. They say too many were trying to leave them without ever buying a book anyplace.

I’m now working on a book about prayer and how God always wants to tell us, “YES.” It’s going slow as I have so much to learn.

Thanks again for you support.

How to Support Your Favorite Authors

Because I will #launch two books, once my cover is ready, I am posting ways that I could use your support.  My cover is being developed by an artist in Australia whose work I love (isn't the internet wonderful for connecting). One book is a #Christian nonfiction about marital relationships (#Women Talk, #Men Walk: #Keep Your Man Connected, God Tells How & Hormones Tell Why) and the other is a Christian fiction (#The Socialite) that's a combination love story and mystery that occurs in Little Rock. The supportive article below was written by  

Cindy Tansin

Be More Than a Reader: How to Support your Favorite Authors

Read any good books lately? I'll bet you have. What did you do afterwards? Sigh in satisfaction, put it on the shelf, and hope that another one as good comes along? There are so many books in the world, but finding a good one can sometimes be elusive. So when a good one comes along, why not return the favor to the author who took the time and trouble to entertain or educate you by supporting them. There are a number of ways you can do this -- some very simple -- and all would result in a grateful author who would hopefully be encouraged to do more writing.

1. Host a #Book Launch                                                                                                                     Invite every person on your email list to a book launch party. Invite them a couple of weeks before the set date and send a reminder the day before. Send post card invitations to others. It’s more fun than giving a shower because you aren’t asking friends to bring a gift.  You are only asking that they stop by and meet an Author you support. You or the Author will furnish small refreshments, give guests a token for coming (such as a book mark with the book/author’s picture on it) and enjoy chatting with friends you may not have seen in some time. There is no pressure for them to purchase the book, but it is available if they want a signed copy. If the Author’s book is also an ebook, perhaps the Author will offer a discount to those attending. Once a crowd gathers, introduce the Author and let the Author read the first chapter or a mini-section from the book. A book launch party provides the maximum support for a new Author. You are helping the Author get his/her name and book in front of others.

2. #Buy the Book
At the risk of sounding obvious, if you know a book is going to be good -- a keeper -- buy it. Don't borrow it or lend it. If someone else wants to read it based on your recommendation and you feel so inclined, buy them a copy as a gift.

3. Like The Book
"Like" and "follow" them on social media. When you do, your contacts can see what you are reading, and it gives the Author more exposure.

4. Visit Their Website
If they have an Author website, they have put a lot of time and thought into it, and it didn't appear there for free even though you don't pay a dime to look at it. If they post a blog or newsletter subscription, sign up. It's very encouraging to them, and you might enjoy the occasional emails they send you. Also, if they invite commentary on their blogs, write a comment. Even "Interesting article, thanks," is encouraging. Again, they took the time and trouble, and it feels good to know someone cares.

5. #Review The Book
Goodreads is one of the most popular book review sites, and many authors interact on the site. Go to Amazon and review the book.  Reviews influence sales. Amazon and Barnes and Noble, the two largest online booksellers, rank books by a number of factors, including the number of customer reviews a book received. Even a simple line and an appropriate assignment of stars is appreciated.

6. Post Pictures Holding their Book
Authors love to see people with their books. It's what they live for. Go ahead, post your picture holding their book on Facebook and send them a copy. Why not leave a copy laying on your desk at work? It might get noticed and commented on. #Talk about the book.  Bring the book or the Author up as a topic of conversation; at work, at lunch, at parties, while riding the train or the bus or any other social situation.  Word of mouth has always been the Author's best friend. No amount or type of marketing is more direct or persuasive than "I just read this book, you have to read it."

7. Do a YouTube Video Review
Okay, this one's for extra credit. Not everybody can or will -- but if you do have it in your heart to post a video/commentary about a book on YouTube, it's a BIG WOW. (and thanks)

8. Write in the Book
This is a personal favorite -- or maybe a personal quirk -- but when I read something that speaks to me or just sounds beautiful, I underline it. Sometimes I write in the margins. I might put a star or smiley face. If it's something I want to remember, something meaningful, writing in the book makes it stick and easy to refer back to. To me, when I find a used book that's been written in, I know it was loved, and I want to own that book. Even writing your name in cursive and the date on the inside page personalizes it and says you care. It's a beautiful touch that any author would be proud to see.

If you gain one pearl of wisdom or a small chuckle or shed a tiny tear when reading a book, do more than just sigh. Take a next step.

CHOSSING THE RIGHT PARTNER FOR LIFE

According to #John Van Epps, author of #How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk, you need to decide among five other attributes before dating another on a regular basis.  Remember #you marry someone you date -- at least in the US.  Try rating each person you date on a scale of 1-100 with 100 being always good and 1 being extremely disappointing. 1. Knowing Him:  How well do you really know the person?  Does he share private concerns or do always feel he holds something back?  How well do you know his family?  What do his friends say about him?  And probably the most important is #how do prior girlfriends describe him?   2. Trusting Him:   Do you trust him fully?  Would you be willing to tell him something you would never want another to know? Would you trust him with your last dime and know he would repay it?  Is his work record reliable or does he frequently make excuses to be absent? Is he honest in all areas?  Has he ever told you a ‘little white lie?”  3. Relying on Him: Can you rely on your date?  Does he always phone when he promises?  Does he remember your birthday?  Does he take the lead in ensuring you get to worship on time or has he ever suggested you miss to do something else?  #Can you rely on him to put God first?   4. Acts Committed:  Does he act fully committed or is he glancing at other women when in public?  Does he put you before all others?  In a crowd does he stay by your side and pay you compliments in front of others? Has he ever said something in front of others that embarrassed or hurt you?  When he’s with other guys, does he degrade and make negative jokes about women?  5. Touches Lovingly:  Does he touch you in gentle, tender ways?  Has he ever hit you or had you fearing he might?  Does he mind holding hands in public?  Does he try to touch you in ways that make you uncomfortable?  Does no mean no to him?

            Ten attributes (including the important ones in the prior post) that research shows determines if you #choose the right man for a marriage partner and prove you will more likely #stay married for a life time.  Where do you stand?  #Living with someone 24/7 proves challenging for the most committed couples and more so when one doesn’t value the things that mean the most to you.

What Makes for Better Marriages?

#Should You Marry Someone Like Yourself or Someone Different?

                #Do opposites attract?  Yes, often.  However, that does not infer that opposites make compatible marriage partners or have happy marriages.  If one person spends money freely, seems easy-going, and loves to travel, and the other appears thrifty, takes life seriously and sees travel as a waste of time and money, they may find each other exciting for a while.  Learning how the other half lives can be a fun experience but not for long. 

            Dating such a person proves very different from living 24-7 with someone this opposite.  After months of living with another who possesses such a different attitude, the frugal partner begins to view the spend-thrift as someone who cannot save money and never has a dime for an emergency. The spend-thrift views the frugal partner as a tightwad.  The person’s easy-going attitude shifts to appear as refusing to stand up for what’s right and the serious as too negatively focused.  If one must travel alone while the other tosses excuses for remaining at home, both experience loneliness and eventually resentment.  In such cases, both try to persuade the other to conform to their ideas.  The more deadlocked they live, the stormier their relationship.  Or one party may completely surrender their personality and interests to please the other and live life as a lost, unfulfilled shadow.  When partners prove too dissimilar, one person tends to dominate in an area, and this leaves the other unhappy and often bolting from the marriage.  Living permanently with such a partner creates a constant list of problem, and many prove unsolvable. Solomon wisely cautioned, “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

            Research overwhelmingly supports the fact that couples experience #fewer conflicts and report #better relationships when they share five basic features.  Below are the most important considerations when dating anyone with possible thoughts of marriage.  They heavily influence and determine a couple’s odds for success (or failure). 

            1. Geographical Upbringing.  Being from different countries ensures the couple shares vastly different ideas about life.  Childhood experiences shape our ideas about child rearing, nutrition, money, sex, dress, recreation, observing holidays, and how to express love.  These couples experience more dissimilarities than with any other factor, and for each difference, the emotions tend to run hottest when trying to resolve different points of view.  When such deep-rooted values clash, few resolve issues successfully.  One is always left hurting.

            2. Religion.  Research shows that when couples worship together, they feel happier and better satisfied with their lifestyles.  They cannot share this if one lives knowing they don’t belong in the other’s church.  One partner may cave and tag along with the mate to avoid conflict but never feel fully satisfied.  Some cave and experience guilt for abandoning their faith.  A noted Jewish priest and author refuses to marry any couple who does not share the same religious beliefs.  He considers religion the most basic foundation of a successful marriage.  He marries two Baptist, two Catholics, or two of any faith, but he refuses to marry a couple when one grew up in one church and the partner reared in another.  Nor does he marry a religious person and an atheist.  He asks, “Why would a couple begin marriage with an immediate problem?  They might discount this difference while newly in love, but once married problems explode and cannot be denied.  Only then it’s too late to correct poor judgment, so they argue and fight and God hates fighting.  He values peaceful relationships.”

            3. Age.  Differences in age prove a contributing factor to a marriage’s success.  The closer a couple’s ages, the more interests they share.  It matters not which spouse is older; degree of closeness is what counts.  We all know stories of an old man marrying a teenager girl, but few stories exist of both being happy.  They remain too far apart to enjoy similar activities.  He grew up liking elevator music and she prefers punk rock.  Imagine the fights about music in that house.  Age influences the desire for children and how involved each partner becomes in young children’s activities.  Age even influences the foods they eat.  The older spouse may require a restricted diet, while the younger one has yet to experience a need for such concerns.  The younger possesses energy to go and do; the older prefers quiet evenings relaxing in a recliner.

            4. Education.  The degree of closeness in a couple’s education weighs heavily in a marriage’s success.  When a Ph.D. marries a high school dropout, rarely do they share reading materials, TV programs, or even friends.  Both seek friends like self, and one always finds visiting the other’s friends uncomfortable because they share little to discuss.  Eventually, they wish to avoid all contact with their mate’s friends.  Often, this includes the mate’s family.  The educated one must guard against having the less educated feel inferior because such feelings take a serious toll on the person and the relationship.

            5. Money.   When one partner comes from a more affluent background and the other reared in poverty, they bring drastically different views on spending and saving.  This rarely works unless the affluent one allows the poorer mate to control and manage their money.  Yet, how long do you think someone with money would enjoy having another control their finances?  Can one who never had money know how to balance spending?  Money brings power and influence for the one having it.  The one lacking views their marriage as a constant power struggle that carries over into every decision they make. 

            Yes, some dissimilarity makes a relationship spicy and interesting.  But, no matter how close a couple’s cultural background, religion, age, education and money, couples always bring numerous differences to their relationships.  No two people bring identical values.  Each contributes differently.  Too many differences destroy a marriage, unless both parties possess a submitting spirit and a strong willingness to sacrifice their values and learn to appreciate the other’s.  However, everyone holds some standards they cannot abandon, and some people would rather die than forsake their most cherished values.  For them, the marriage dies instead. 

            Dating someone more like yourself proves the most successful long-term, because the more values, morals, and interests a couple shares, the more they agree on life’s most basic issues.  Partners who compliment each other’s basic needs tend to experience the most successful marriages.  What if you date several who match closely on the five basic values? Then what should be considered?  I will cover this in the next blog.